Did someone order a goat?

There's a Goat and it's Eating my Garden!

So its a nice day, just put the garden in for the spring. New plants all put in, all my hardier starts are in. I'm standing in my kitchen and what do my wandering eyes behold? Movement. Its big and brown whatever it is. So I look again

... its... its... its a GOAT!

Where in the world did that goat come from? I don't know be he's eating my garden, enjoying himself, and I'm not pleased. So I yell to the household "There's a goat in my garden"! They all look at me like I started speaking alien or Greek or calculus, and so I repeat myself: "There is a GOAT outside, in my garden, and he's destroying it"!

Finally my words penetrate and everyone rushes to the back door. Sure enough... there he is. I will say he's such a friendly guy. We finally led him to the blackberry bushes, where he could eat a liberty with our blessing. But still... the task of getting him gone.

We called Animal control, and as we live in a rural reservation, they had no one on duty that day. Great. The lady just told me to try and "Shew" him. I tried to explain that he wasn't eating a "fun" garden, but one we rely upon for food in the upcoming months, but she seemed... well, lets just say it wasn't that she was unconcerned, but she had more pressing matters. I sure hope we never have to call 911 for a real emergency! That was not a confidence builder if you ask me. 

Anyway. Have any of you ever read the Bible? I had always loved goats and sheep, but hadn't had a whole lot of experience with either. Well there's a few places where we are instructed to be like sheep rather than goats. I now understand why. While he was a super friendly fellow... he ate anything (and we're supposed to "eat" only the pure manna from heaven, AKA the truth of God's word), he was extremely self willed- he was very  S.T.U.B.B.O.R.N. Obviously he was apt to stray from the "fold" provided for him, and loath to return there. We also simply could not lead him anywhere, and he was a good 160 pounds. Surely the biggest goat I'd ever seen. He liked our garden and there he wanted to stay. Oh, and man did he stink too! Phew!

Eventually we got him to go home and leave us be. But I really have to insert what one of my dear friends said, and I also must disclaim that she is a super intelligent person, but perhaps had a lot on her mind for the day (children do that to us you know), as I had mentioned it was a Male goat, but she suggested we "keep him for the milk". Yes she even mentioned it was a "Him"... It was my jovial task to remind her (as she well knows) that milk only comes from the female goats! Hahaha! Too funny.